Something that’s helped me understand and pursue happiness is learning to tell the difference between when I want something and when I want the IDEA of something.

I think we often get them confused.

Do I want to look like a Men’s Health cover model? If course I do!

Actually no, I don’t.

I only like the IDEA of looking like a Men’s Health cover model. I don’t want to train 2hrs a day, twice a day; I don’t want to eat steamed chicken and broccoli six times a day, 7 days a week; I don’t want to take bulking up shakes, cutting down pills and vitamin S jabs…

No, I don’t want that, and that frees me up to pursue what I do want, which is to be as fit and healthy as possible in the time I’ve allocated to training, and that’s a really different thing.

We need to differentiate between wanting the outcome and wanting the process. There are very few outcomes that come for free. Most come with a preceding process.

People who LOVE to travel love the process of imagining where they’ll go, researching all the places, creating an itinerary, booking things 6 months in advance. I, on the other hand, love the IDEA of traveling but I really don’t like the admin. And so I don’t go on lots of trips, and not doing all that admin really makes me happy

Sometimes it’s not sexy to say you only love the idea (what, you don’t love to travel?!!) but recognising when you love a thing vs when you only love the idea of a thing will free you up to pursue the things that really make you happy.

As Richard Feynman famously said, “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”